Skip to main content

DIFFERENT DEGREES OF INCEST BY NKECHI IKOH

Incest is defined by Websters  as sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law to marry. During the time of Pharoah, marriage between siblings had been condoned. Now, incest has become loosely practised.
At one extreme : A young woman had serious sexual difficulties. Whenever she was having sex with her husband, a picture of her father would flash to her mind. For this reason she was considered sexually incapacitated. At teen, she had been raped by her father at her intervals not  out of reach from her mother. 

When she told her mother, she would regards her daughters complaints as nonsense.
All aspects of this experience was traumatic : the rape, her mother's indifference. She  trusted no one and the emotional consequences caused her low self-esteem and anxiety.
At other extremes are many cases of cousins. These so called relatives are often creepily happy, making sure that they are well liked. When visiting, the topics of discussion are often about sex. They enjoy hugging, standing too close to the female all the while, pretending to be in a serious discussion while touching the arms, shoulders or anywhere they intend to send inappropriate signals, effectively.
These incestuous behaviors are not only left to males, the females are also inclusive.
Females who undress in front of young boys and girls, touch the breast and butt of girls, kiss the child on the lips as show of affections are often lesbian in disguise. They do get married but the exhibit pedophile without the knowledge of the child's parent.
If the aunts action seems innocent, it sure isn't for the child, because he/she is being sexually exposed by arousal. This could pose a danger while the victim plays with other peers.
How to know when incest is about occurring :
1.  When a particular teen is being asked after repeatedly by the relative.

2. When the physique of the teen is being complimented by female or male relative often.

3. When the teen feels a stare on her body when she gets up or moves out and it gives a chill of insecurity.

4. When the incestuous relative does not feel it wrong to rest his or her hand on the butt of shoulder of the teen, despite the distress of the child.

5. When the relative repeatedly demands the teen visit his or her house without parental knowledge.

6. When other siblings are not given the same affection as the  targeted sibling.

Nipping Incest in the bud
1. Parents should listen to their  teens when they mention situations that were scary to them.

2. They should not assume all that occurred with the child was child play.

3. They should avoid feeling hurt about any complaints from the child about the relative and examine the relative.

4. They should seek permission from the child when a relative is staying over before invite.
 It gives the teen room to ascertain their mood towards that person. The saying that "if something does not feel right, it probably isn't", applies strongly to this circumstances.

5. Parents should stop focusing on how well behaved her teens are around relatives and start studying the effects of the relatives behavior on their teens before it's too late.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE GAINS AND LOSSES OF THE ABSENCE OF MR PRESIDENT: BY UWAKWE ROLAND.

President Muhammadu Buhari has been absent from duty since the last few months on a purported medical checkup in London. Good a thing he legally transferred power to the Vice President who is now the acting President, this is unlike the imbroglio that played out during Yar’adua’s time when the National Assembly had to invoke the doctrine of necessity so as to effectively transfer power to then Vice President Goodluck Jonathan. The problem is that even as an acting President, Yemi Osinbanjo has limited powers to fully assume responsibility as the commander in chief, this is because most of the big government functionaries may still owe their loyalty to Mr President, couple with this, Buhari appointed people of his like minds who may not comfortably work with the acting President that will want to bring his knowledge of law and practice into governance. Hence the long absence of Mr President may eventually result to a slow down of democratic dividends. The above ...

LOVE IS OVERRATED

We often mistake lust for love and many people mistake infatuation for true love. So many people preach that if you are no longer happy in a marriage then you should just call it quits. How about telling people to remember what made them happy in the first place and work on getting back to that place. A man wakes up in the morning and tells his wife he wants a divorce because he has fallen in love with someone else even when children are involved. The fact that you once proposed marriage to a person means you once considered her above every woman, how then do you discover years into the marriage that you love another? Especially after having kids. You probably have seen a slimmer woman or a pretty face or a sexy woman and concluded that you now have a new love. The desire for something new is not usually love but an attraction which can be classified as lust or infatuation. Any time you put your new flame above your children, then you know that you are deep in lust. Sex is an integra...

RAPE, ITS JUSTIFICATION AND VICTIM SHAMING

It's sad that this is a world where things are not perfect but isn't that why we have laws; to correct the ills in society? I read today on a blog about a filmmaker who said that "nonviolent rape" should be legalized and that the reason rapists were raping girls was because they were sexually frustrated and that girls should accept it and even prepare themselves for it by carrying condoms and cooperating with their rapists. In fact it is clear that civilization is beyond running water and having flushable toilets, a lot of minds are still in a dark place. Before you join the number of people condemning him, think of how you shame victims of rape by suggesting that somehow they did something to provoke the animal instinct in the rapist. The dust hasn't settled yet on the case of Busola Dakolo and Biodun Fatoyinbo where an Abuja high court struck out the case and called an abuse of court processes and said it was statue barred. They were irregularities as cited by ...